Sexual Dysfunction

Question

I received a call this afternoon from an individual who described himself a retired man whose wife of 39 years, to whom he was absolutely faithful, died about two years ago. He has dated some since then; however he is unable to have an erection. He has been to a doctor and he is normal by all the medical measurements. Also, he is able to masturbate. He has met a woman whom he finds very attractive and exciting, but when it is time to perform he can not hold an erection. He is impressed with hypnosis and wants to make an appointment to work with me. I’ve never worked with this situation before. I'm thinking of doing regression to the cause. What do you suggest?

Answer

            After so many years of marriage to the same women, no infidelities and no sex before he married, one gentleman I worked with, I felt, had some unconscious guilt over being “unfaithful” to his (dead) wife should he have sex with another women.  It sounds to me as if you might have a similar situation here with your own new client. Here’s what I’d suggest using with him, if you haven’t already:

     1.  Do a good intake on his history so you can cover the points that you become aware of, which might be related.

     2.  Use the problem-solution script (GREAT ESCAPES Volume III) before trying to do any straight suggestions, in which you ask the deeper mind to seek out the imprints causing the problem underneath his symptom, and change them to the person he is now in this time.  Think of it as his married self is still stuck in that time and needs to be brought forward to his “unmarried” life.

     3.  Later, if necessary, talk to the part of the client that is having trouble with erections to find out what that “part” is trying to do for the client.  Treat it as a “friend” rather than an enemy by assuming that aspect of the client is really trying to help in some strange way.  Then ask that personality part what aspect of the client isn’t doing its job and needs to help so that this “part” doesn’t have to work so hard. Call it forth to get an agreement to help.

     4.  By all means, go for regression if these techniques do not elicit a positive response.

     5.  Add self-confidence suggestions each time, because he no doubt feels a failure, being that most men are pretty performance-oriented.

     6.  Another possibility, to add later, is that you could use a metaphor or story that has to do with struggling to achieve, then finally succeeding. And/Or have him, in his imagination, build a great tower, brick by brick. (These are a subtle ways to come at the problem, since the setting is totally divorced from sexuality.)

            By the way, much of the above can be used with any sexual problem.  Good luck with your client.