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Del Morrill, M.S. C.C.H


A Center for Counseling & Hypnosis
Tacoma, Washington, USA
(253) 752-1506

Sexual Abuse Remembered?


How one knows whether the incest remembered is "real."


After such a revelation is made, while the client is hypnotized, I speak to the one who actually experienced the abuse (that is, the child of that particular age becomes my client). This gives the inner child who began to experience this at that particular age--assuming it happened in childhood--assurance that they are now grown up and safe from ever having to have that experience again. You must assure them that nothing bad will happen to them if they tell.  Once I am assured by the child that they feel safe to tell,  I then ask them to explain just what happened, assuring them that they are now like a reporter retelling the truth of a real event (avoid using the word "story", since that can be interpreted differently by a child, i.e. a fairy tale).  I do this about three different times, twice in that session to assure myself that the info is accurate, and again in the next session.  Too often a child can misinterpret events (being cuddled by a Daddy they are devoted to), or even express what their own hidden wishes are (I wish I were like Mommy with Daddy, or I wish I were married to Daddy), when there was no real incest.  

Of course, it is exceedingly important NEVER to ask any question that is in any way leading, and never ask if there was incest involved, or if "daddy" (or “mommy”) touched them in the wrong way, or any other such question, for this can implant the very suggestion as "reality."  It may be boring, but the tried and true questions of "What's happening?"  "And then what happened?" are still your best bets at getting at the truth of an incident. 

I also check out whether I am speaking to the child of THIS lifetime, or another lifetime; and/or whether I am speaking to this person or another spirit that has joined this person, assuming that this can happen, especially when a child is very vulnerable and afraid. In such a state, some believe that an attachment is made by a spirit who has gone through incest and the fear involved with it.  It may have thought it could comfort or otherwise help the child.  In such a case, the spirit (or energy residue) needs to understand that although they are appreciated for what they once tried to do, it is time to move on to their own life ahead of them--that their duty to this client is now over, and this client is now safe. Whether or not you believe in this kind of thing, I have found it helpful to “humanize” whatever may be interfering with the child’s own being. I believe that, sometimes when people have such experiences come to light, we cannot always be sure that it is the experience of this particular lifetime or this particular client--If this is so, then it might explain why there are accusations of abuse in which the so-called abuser insists that absolutely nothing like that happened.

Whatever the outcome, whether incest or misinterpretation, you are still dealing with the child's perceptions and must operate accordingly, especially by freeing the child from that experience, releasing them from any fear and guilt, whether it is real to them or never happened.  If you suspect that it never really happened, then you still must give assurance to the little child that they are indeed good, and now grown up, and everything else is just a memory of the past, and can now take its rightful place as simply thoughts that have no continued power over them.  Remember, that the inner "personality" of whatever time, doesn't realize that time has changed.  There is no concept of time in the subconscious self--so you have to help that part of the person understand that time has changed.

Whatever you do, it is not your place to encourage a person to confront their family about such an incident.  I have been aware of too many cases where doing so has simply split the family apart, or alienated the client forever from their parents and, often, their entire family.  Usually the parents and others of the family won't believe it anyway--or continue to be in denial, and will turn on the client, banding against her/him, and often making their life even more miserable.

It is important, I believe, that any person dealing further with this issue, should it be a true experience, needs to have assistance from a skilled counselor for anything related or as a result of such experiences. Too often an hypnotherapist who has had only basic skills will find his or her head in trying to assist a person with deeper problems than giving up particular habits or preparing them for exams, etc. If I seem too adamant about this, forgive me. Besides specializing with children, I also specialize in assisting people to be healed of past abuses, depression, etc., and consider this a particularly delicate area, needing special training for such.





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