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Del Morrill, M.S. C.C.H


A Center for Counseling & Hypnosis
Tacoma, Washington, USA
(253) 752-1506

Child with Limited Wardrobe


 I now have seen my 6-yr old client 4 times for this issue:  her mom wants her to wear more clothes.  She will only wear 3 outfits and 1 pair of shoes. I have done the problem and solution finding script for the younger child and the Guardian and Garden inductions.  I did a mini-regression to age 2 when her dad died and told the 2 yr old that it was not her fault, that she no longer had to worry about him, etc.  I did a lot of suggestions about confidence and feeling good wearing different clothes.  We did some imagery wearing new pretty clothes at her favorite places.  We made her dad a guardian angel and anytime she felt uncomfortable he would wrap his soft beautiful wings around her and help her to feel comfortable.    I don’t know what else to do.  She is not getting any better.  Do you have any other ideas for me?  I feel like a failure!! 


          What is meant by not doing any better?  Is the child unhappy with things?  Or is it the parents?  Remember, you're doing your work with the child, and if the child isn't going to go further, then she isn't going to go! I’ve found that children are no different than adults when it comes to having to WANT to change.

         I'd tell her parents you've done all you can do.  The child is probably using this as one area in which she has the control in the household over her OWN life!  I've never understood why parents get so uptight about a child wanting to wear only certain clothes.  I know of a hypnotherapist whose daughter wouldn't wear anything but dress-up costumes wherever they went.  When an aunt said she'd take her out for ice-cream only if she changed her clothes, the child chose to stay home without the ice-cream.

        Children often have this problem.  One of my clients wanted his little son to change tee-shirts, but the kid didn't want to.  So they made a mutually satisfying bargain - He could wear the same red tee-shirt as often as he wanted to provided he allowed the parents to wash it. He could choose the day that they would wash it each week.

         I've found that children always grow out of this.  If nothing else, they'll do so from pressure from other kids when they start school.    Tell the parents to lighten up, and let her alone - this is part of her imagination and means something to her, for some reason.  If she is still that limited when she starts school, then she should come and visit you again for another try.

          As to anything else, you've done a good job and everything you can do, as far as I can tell.  I think the parents take the next step.  Maybe they can negotiate, with her, an agreement that she can wear the same 3 dresses and same pair of shoes, if she will allow them to take her shopping for a new outfit once a quarter, and if she will promise to wear the outfit at least once.  It's worth a try.

Best to you. Del

P.S.  You’re doing just fine!  





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