DIDN’T GET MY MONEY’S WORTH

QUESTION

(When I went to a hypnotist) I never got hypnotized because I didn’t feel I was. I went there (feeling) very happy and faithful to cure my phobia of shyness and self esteem, which is working! Shouldn’t I ask for my money back?

ANSWER

            Often people may feel they weren’t hypnotized when they actually were. This is, mostly, because they have been so swayed by the often erroneous presentations of hypnosis shown in movies and television, and affected by what is seen with stage hypnosis. It is a misunderstanding to think that you will go so deep you won’t be able to hear the hypnotist.  This is not the case. Frequently, the client will feel that they can “hear everything”.  Yet, many clients say that they don’t remember what was said by the time they get to the car; or they may not hear the telephone ring or a book drop on the floor during a session.  Even if a client claims they can hear such things, finally, the only criteria of whether or not you were hypnotized is not in the therapist’s office.  It is whether you change or obtain your goal, or feel like you are on your way to doing so. 

            I have found that even when I explain this in a pre-talk, there remains, in some clients’ minds, the conviction that I need to be “putting them to sleep” or they won’t be helped. The very fact that you feel something is curing your shyness and self-esteem “phobia” when it was not before you came to the hypnotist, is a sign that it worked, whether or not you “felt it”.

            Hypnosis is not just about the therapist DOING something; it is also about you RECEIVING the suggestions given to you.  The hypnotherapist cannot control that part of your time together.  A professional hypnotist does their best to do what will, hopefully, work for you.  However, there is no way that therapist can get you to be hypnotized if you don’t want to be, or are otherwise resistant. From the success you seem to be receiving, evidently you were open and willing to receive your hypnotherapist's recommendations.

            As to getting your money back, you can try. Therapists vary on their policies regarding this question.  However, consider this: when you go to a medical doctor, such as an MD, do you ask for your money back if he doesn’t “heal” you, or do you understand that he (or she) is doing the best they can, and it may or may not work for you?  Do you ask for your money back from the pharmacist if the pills you take don’t do what you expected? Hypnotherapists are doctors of the “mind”. They cannot guarantee that their clients will always get what they want. The only guarantee that can be made is their 50% of the session and what they have endeavored to do for you in that session. They cannot guarantee your 50% of the session regarding your own willingness.

            You mention in your note to me that the hypnosis is working regarding your shyness and self esteem. So, frankly, I am unclear as to why you would want your money back.  Your hypnotist seems to have done exactly what you had hoped for, regardless of how you felt.