Pain in the Ears

QUESTION:

     Hi Del, It’s been a while since I have been in contact with you but always enjoy your newsletters. I wanted to ask you a question regarding working with kids.  Currently, I am working with a boy who is 12 and has suffered from severe pain coming from both ears for the last 3/4 year; it’s getting worse.  He can be in so much pain he spends days crying. He can go for days without any pain and then it starts. As a result, sleep has become a problem.  Doctors, specialists have no idea why and all they do is give him pain killers and tell him it’s in his head.

     One thing he told me that happened when he was only seven - his mother was threatened by someone.  He has some guilt that he couldn't help or protect his mum at the time. Also, his parents split up when he was about six.  The split was amiable and he regularly sees his Dad. Any suggestions on how I might help him further will be most appreciated.

ANSWER:

     Understand that my responses are merely speculation, from the information you have given me.  Your client may have heard his parents fight, as they moved toward divorce, despite now having an amicable relationship. This can frighten a child.  Kids sense when they might lose a parent, or are in a position of no power to prevent something. Feeling powerless certainly could relate to the threat against his mother. Since he was unable to help her, better not to hear any of it at all.  

     If he were my client I would probably first ask the deeper mind to locate the imprints causing the presenting problem and change them to who he is now. (If it will help, look for the problem-solving script for older children- GREAT ESCAPES Vol. IV has it and one for younger children as well).   

     If that did not clear it, I would adapt my script about releasing the adult child (made basically for children who have been abused but just as effective for other things).  The idea of this process is that whatever happens to us, or whatever we learn, along with the emotions involved, hook in at the particular age and moment in time; that part of us literally stays there and does not realize that time has changed.  So if the child heard something earlier (like his ages 6 and 7) that disturbed him, he might be experiencing it today as if it were still happening. So what I would be doing is helping that earlier part of him understand that time has changed and he is safe, etc. (If it helps to have a script on this, it is in the individual script list for downloading, or in Great Escapes, Volume V, called “Releasing the Child Self” on my web site store.)

     If you don’t have them, both of the above scripts lend themselves to so many issues and adaptations. In both of them, you don’t have to know the causes of something at a conscious level.  If you or your client need to know at a conscious level, then doing regression would be affective, especially if neither of these methods has released him from the pain. 

     You might consider creating a story in which a river is overflowing, threatening life around it. He becomes a hero by finding a way to dam the river.

     Another way you could come at this problem is to take him on an adventure (you are traveling with him for safety) in which he is to face the monster that is causing his pain.  He finds something near him that will help him conquer the monster.  Once he does, he is able to look at it closely and see what it resembles.  (This is a good way to help children experience themselves as empowered, since so many of their problems have to do with disempowerment, or feeling powerless against adults. It also can be revealing as to the reason behind the pain.)