Dealing with Another's Depression

QUESTION:

          I would like to know if perhaps you would be willing to see my husband and perhaps myself. He is in a deep depression, has been on antidepressants for years and is unwilling to talk to a counselor. He does not like the idea of talking to a counselor because he will not talk to any of his friends or me about his problems so why would he talk to a perfect stranger? He is willing to see a hypnotherapist if I can find the right one. I am looking for someone who is a counselor and uses hypnotherapy in their practice and it looks like that might be you.

          He feels as though he does not know how to be happy and that happiness is a learned response that he did not learn in childhood. He cannot recall one single positive childhood memory and has no specific event or memory to make him be so depressed. I feel as though something major happened and that he is just blocking everything out. As a consequence of this, we have serious marital issues with him being emotionally and physically unavailable to me. and our daughter. I am afraid for him and our future.

          Would you be willing to see us so that maybe we can uncover the root of his problems so that we can start working on them?

ANSWER:

            I'm glad you wrote to me, but I'm afraid it's going to have to be your husband who wants the help.  I specialize in depression - I've been through the horror of it and know what it's like to be unable to help oneself out of it.  I can't guarantee anything with him, because he WILL have to answer some questions and allow himself to talk to me in order for me to help him.  Hypnosis is not my waving a magic wand over him and suddenly he receives a blessing.  It's a contractual agreement between the two of us; he is helping himself heal by letting me guide him into his own interior.

            If he uses the computer, have him go to my web site ARTICLES page and read the article I wrote on Depression and Hypnosis.  It will help him decide whether in fact he should come to me. He might wish to also check the page that gives me qualifications.

            Whatever the case, it appears that you could use someone, yourself, regardless of what he does.  I don't do couples counseling any more, but I have worked with each individual just fine, as long as there is willingness.