Victorious or Victim? It's Up to You

Nikk Zorbas

In my line of work I come across all types of individuals. Their approach to life spans the spectrum from empowered and victorious to victimized and defeated.

Even though I am not a psychic, I can predict word-for-word what will come out of the mouths of the "victims." They usually start by saying that "someone has done them wrong" or "they can't catch a break." Their mindset is consumed with negativity and they blame their life circumstances on society and other people. In short, they have an acute case of the "Poor Me" syndrome.

On the other hand, the victorious spend their time improving themselves and have a zestful approach to life. Ironically, victorious-minded individuals may have actually experienced more adversity than many of the "victimized." However, when victorious individuals are faced with a problem, they think creatively to arrive at a solution. Most importantly, when something goes wrong, they don't point fingers.

Pointing fingers, placing the blame on others… The term "personal responsibility" seems to have taken a back seat for much of today's population.

I am the first to agree that life can get tough. However, I am continually amazed by the number of people who choose to spend their time lamenting over their circumstances instead of doing something to change them. Whining, complaining, and dwelling on the problem does absolutely no good; it simply wastes time and energy that would be better spent finding the best possible solution.

So why is it that some people see themselves as victims while others have a victorious self-image? I have come to realize that both labels are self-imposed and what separates the two is merely a matter of choice and attitude. Whatever your mind believes, it will conceive. And whatever you believe—whether it's true or not—you're right! Therefore, what distinguishes a victim from a victor is their way of thinking.

You see, somewhere along the line the victims' thoughts became toxic. This is no surprise since your mind is constantly exposed to negative influences—negative people, negative environments, and negative images in the media. Every time you hear people complain or when you watch television programs, the news, or movies filled with stories of sadness and violence, these negative emotions accumulate in your subconscious. Think of your subconscious as a warehouse where all your thoughts and memories are stored, and your mind as a computer. If most of what has been input is negative, then the only thing it can produce will be negative information.

It's important to control what is programmed into your mind. This is important to know! The first key is to recognize when you encounter negativity, and consciously limit your exposure to it. Replace negative thoughts and words in your vocabulary with positive ones.

The second key is to know what you want. Often when I ask people, "What do you want in life?" they tell me all about what they don't want. When I press them for an answer to my question, they struggle to come up with the answer. If you want to be successful and victorious, you have to define exactly what success and winning means to you; there is tremendous power in knowing what you want. Identify what you want and focus in on it like a laser; your subconscious mind will take note and will begin to attract the people and things that will support your goal. Defining what you want and having a clearly defined objective is a critical step in achieving any worthwhile goal in life. The victorious individuals look for and create the circumstances they want.

The third key has to do with what is called "The Law of Forced Efficiency." According to this law, there is never enough time to do everything, but there is always time to do the most important thing. Therefore, prioritize how you spend your time, paying most attention to the things that really matter to you. Always ask yourself, "What is the most important use of my time right now?"

Most of your existing thought patterns were established by your upbringing and reinforced by your environment. However, despite those two factors, the ability to choose your place on the "victimized to victorious" spectrum is within your personal responsibility.

When you deny personal responsibility for yourself, you are in a sense playing a game of dodge ball, except in this case, the consequences can rob you of a fulfilled life. Choose wisely, make good decisions, and use sound judgment. Be victorious—instead of victimized!

Nikk Zorbas is a performance coach, author, recording artist, and creator of "The Reveal, Dream Big, Never Quit" program. His monthly column appears the first Monday of every month on www.MesquiteLocalNews.com.

For more information, visit his website at www.DiscoveringThePowerOfYou.com.

Nikk Zorbas
Nikk Zorbas is a performance coach, author, recording artist, and creator of "The Reveal, Dream Big, Never Quit" program. He splits his time between Las Vegas and Mesquite. His monthly column appears the first Monday of every month on www.MesquiteLocalNews.com. For more information, visit his website at www.DiscoveringThePowerOfYou.com.